Livin' the Dream

I'm still a little flabbergasted. I cannot tell you how many times I've thought to myself, "Boy, it would be great to get a physics and/or chemistry job right out of college. And how cool would it be if I could work in Holmen...And maybe I could coach forensics."

Being offered this job feels like, if one day during your freshman year of high school, the star quarterback caught your eye, handed you a rose and asked you to be his prom date...in song...while making you a hot fudge sundae. We've all have moments where we've thought, "Wouldn't it be nice if..." but I still can't really understand why my "what if" gets to come true, and it's a little scary because of all the "what if"s that follow.

What happens if the quarterback doesn't think you're a good dancer? Or, worse yet, what if he turns out to be less than you always hoped? What if I'm not perfect for this job? What if I'm not enough? As anyone would be, I'm nervous, and I think it's playing a role in my procrastination. I'm finding it hard to really dig in to planning, probably for fear of failure. Today, however, I found the following pinned to the cork board in my office.

"It is not the critic who counts"

 It feels like the kick in the tush I need. As someone who rages whenever someone else attributes their good fortune to only external factors, I am also required  to tell you that I earned this job. And that I have the mentors, support network, tools, and knowledge to be successful. 

Nine days until the seats fill up!

I will be stressed, and busy, and will probably feel like I'm not good enough for my students from time to time because they deserve the best. But, I will succeed. And I will use every misstep or flop of a lesson as a new foundation from which to grow. So, here goes nothing!

Eliminating a Constant: My Two Weeks Notice

It's not uncommon to pick up a job in high school to start saving funds for college (or to spend, for the less frugal among us). However, it's much less common to keep this job for close to eight years. Schedules change, students move after graduation, or it becomes prudent to start a higher paying job.

I was hired at Shopko about two weeks after I obtained my drivers license and, despite picking up a variety of additional jobs over the years, I stuck with it. I think it's because the store served as a constant in my life. I don't cope well with change, so whenever something in my life felt unstable or uncertain, I knew that at work nothing would be different.

November 2006

For my first year, I basically didn't talk to anyone, was petrified of making pages, and felt devastated when costumers became angry with me. Over the last eight years, a lot has changed. This store got me through graduations, moving (three times), pageants, failed tests, first kisses, heartbreaks, interviews, losing friends, and vacations. I can't pretend I always jumped at the chance to work, but the job's been a big part of my life for a long time. Dozens of photos of me over the years boast a Shopko polo (because I was too lazy to change after work (even if the polo color changed, that never did)).

June 2011

Oct. 2008
Yep, rocking the polo in public

July 2009
Just another Friday Fry-day

June 2008
I was going to throw him in the air

It feels weird that now, as I make a really really big change to start my career, I'm letting go of my favorite constant. I even flirted with the idea of working weekends during the school year. I decided that I might want a day off from time to time, and that it's time to focus on my grown up job though.

So,  here's to leaving locker 125 behind (but maybe taking out the book that's been sitting in it since 2007). And to finding new ways to handle problems without the captive audience of coworkers to vent to. And to finally being able to admit that the customers were NOT right most of the time. To no longer having to worry the nutty buddy slot will fail on the vending machine. Here's to being able to brag that I've never broken a watch face (it doesn't count if someone else broke one after I advised them to use their body weight!). To knowing all the words to a lot of outdated songs that have played on the intercom. To not breaking another nail I taking off hanger size thingies or pulling ad. And to holding on to the memories of all the ridiculous things that have happened at work.

Here's to moving forward and being a teacher instead of an "apparel teammate".